There's something quite sad about birthdays...am i right? The expectation, the excitement, the aging....The now being a quarter of a century old! That being said I think i'm having my mid - twenties crisis - Trust me my friends sister assured me that this is a real thing!! Its where i'm trapped in the stage where my friends are all either settling down or getting hammered....and i'm bang in the middle - too alone to be settled and too poor to be hammered! Feeling more mature than the drunks but left behind by the married....so one begins to think what do I do for me?
The Serious Bit:
I am one of those people who loves with a whole heart - something not always appreciated by the opposite sex but nonetheless, it seems that currently i'm faced with a big decision in my life....look ahead and plan a future i've always wanted but that only considers myself or look around me and appreciate what I have knowing that I can work my butt off and get what I want in one way or another?? I'm conflicted....Not many people know what an utterly shite year I had last year and how much i struggled to regain my happiness following that, though I have made reference to that before, but i can honestly say from turning 24 - 25 it has been a good year....naturally i've shed some tears and well c'est la vie but i've also made some great friends had some great experiences and laughed so much along the way. Its hard not to be sad about certain things that happen in life but i'm trying to be strong enough to use that as fuel to succeed or sometimes even simply get through the day!
Which brings me to here....
WHEN IN THE NAME OF GOD DID 25 BECOME OLD/YOUNG!! To my parents i'm now old and an adult and need to start planning for life, but when something doesn't work out its ok because i'm young and i have all the time in the world!! People I literally cannot handle the mixed signal y'all are sending my way!! Its no wonder i'm ahving a mid-twenties crisis because I have no idea what I am anymore.....too young for marriage too old for sleepovers - can i get a manual or something please!!
AND ANOTHER THING......"I was married with 2 kids at your age" - did you see that thing whizzing past your ear?? That's just one of my many flying fucks....get a grip people got married at 12 way back when and I didn't really go for that custom either. Come on people I think i can gauge my own milestones in life.....after all i managed to walk and talk somewhat competently i think maybe I have a good grip on my own reality (Crosses fingers)....So dear society/parents/lecturers/priests/bishops/general elderfolk; Yes I am 25 years old, yes im technically an adult and yes im still going to drink wine then ring my dad to collect me (albeit the hangover recovery process may not be the same) - but isn't that what life is about? Nobody wants their kids to grow up too fast so why cant we enjoy the responsibilities along with the fun.....
Something my mother said to me literally 5 minutes ago really resonates with me...every once in a while someone truly amazing and inspiring comes along and they impact and influence a generation...but we can be our own hero too and we can influence our own life and impact upon others without even knowing it by the example we set. I may be 25 and stuck in limbo but i know what means something to me and i know well enough to appreciate that and to also fight for what I want because sometimes you have to rely on yourself.....and that is how you discover at 25 whether or not you are infact an adult!!
Peace Out
xxxxxxx
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