Life Lessons

As one chapter ends another begins

It's been a long time since I've actually posted anything on here, and selfishly that's simply because I was living my life. However as my year in London comes to an end I wanted to share with you all not only what I've learned and my experiences but also the person I have become. I'e been extremely lucky to have had the opportunity to come and work in the UK, and who knows I may even return some day, however for now the plan is to return to Ireland and to teach there, but i am most definitely NOT returning as the same person who left 10 months ago.

Why I left Ireland

As mentioned before, my whole life I wanted to be a teacher and so I worked hard (well not always) and achieved my goal. Once I had gotten my final results I began the intensive interview process in Ireland, that soul destroying routine of going for job after job that already belongs to someone else but you go anyway just so both your name and face are out there. I found this process particularly difficult, as a lot of people do, there's simply only so much rejection a person can handle. As a result I began to look into teaching in the UK, some of my friends were already going and had used the same agency I had contacted so I knew I was in good hands. It is also important to note that prior to this I was dead set against going to the UK, after all I had a life and a boyfriend in Ireland. However the beginning of the school year drew closer and my options were running out and so I made a decision for me and for my career, and I moved. 

Those of you who are familiar with being a newly qualified teacher will understand why I did this, especially considering I hold a degree in Irish. For those who aren't familiar, let me explain. When you qualify as a teacher in Ireland you are awarded NQT status, to become a fully registered teacher you must complete 300 teaching hours and teaching council workshops, you also have 3 years in which to complete this. This may seem quite achievable, and it is if you are lucky enough to secure a full time teaching position, but for those of us who weren't this can be quite a difficult task. For instance, I lie in a rural area in Ireland around which there are not many schools, therefore subbing opportunities are few, for me to increase my chances I would need to move location, which I could not afford to do without a full time job. You see where I'm going with this, the cycle continues! 

What did I achieve?

Coming to the UK, for me, meant that not only was I working in a full time position, albeit not teaching Irish, I was able to develop so many other essential skills that I would not have had the chance to while subbing. I also completed my 300 hours, well over and above that, and my workshops meaning that at the end of the school year I have completed my NQT induction and am now a fully qualified teacher. Unfortunately some of my friends who remained in Ireland have yet to do this.

It also meant that I met new people, in a new system and learned a lot about myself as an educator in the process. I learned the value of a good student teacher relationship and the importance of having classroom rules and sticking to them regardless of circumstance. I learned not to always take myself so seriously and that you can share a joke with your students and enjoy school too. Most importantly though, I learned what teaching means to me, what I am willing to tolerate and what I am most definitely not. I won't lie and say that it's all been plain sailing because it hasn't, but it has been an enjoyable experience and one that will stay with me for life.

What's the difference?

The Education system in the UK differs greatly from Ireland, the students sit fewer subjects at exam level, there's more than one exam board to choose from. The paper work is colossal and the expectations are crippling. The level of respect teachers are given is low and the level of resources teachers are expected to work with is even lower, and I know what you're thinking.....you're thinking why do it? I'll tell you why. The Kids.

The English School operates a tutor system, where each teacher is assigned a group of students whom they are responsible for throughout the year. Students from all different backgrounds who may or may not all get along, but for 25 minutes each morning are stuck together in a room with you whether they, or you, like it or not. At first I was wary of this set up, what on earth was I supposed to do with twenty two 13 year olds for half an hour each morning? Student's I didn't know a single thing about and in a situation that was becoming increasingly overwhelming by the minute - I call this first day syndrome! Weirdly enough though, this became my favorite part of the day, my time with my kids. This was the greatest learning experience of my life, a powerful tool for me as a new teacher and one that will continue to mold how I teach throughout my career.

So what now?

Now I return home to teach Irish and RE and to really use my degree to the fullest. I don't regret coming to the UK, nor do I regret coming home. I think you have to do what feels right for you and not overthink it too much. I'm looking forward to seeing what challenges await me in Ireland, but I'm also saddened to say goodbye to students who made such an impact on my first year of teaching and on me as a person. Goodbyes are never easy, but I imagine the first one is always the hardest and I will cherish the memories and experiences that I have shared with my students throughout the year, knowing that they will go on to become exceptional members of society and do both me and themselves proud. 

Here's to 26

So as you may know I turned 26 a few weeks back and it was a bit of an experience for me, had some amazing experiences at home and had some life changing moments and some really deep insights into my own life and self also. I started off 25 still dealing with my own issues to some extent and striving to put them behind me, I was in college and convinced that I'd get a job in Ireland once I graduated - how wrong was I? that being said I'm so impressed with how far I've come in a year. I graduated with honours and I'm officially a teacher, fulfilling a life long dream. I've faced the fact that there simply is no work at home and moved to London, a huge step for me, and made some amazing friends and had some amazing experiences along the way. 

The sad bit...

Unfortunately the downside of all this has been the ending of my relationship, while I've not mentioned my relationship much in the past choosing to keep that part of my life private, i feel its important to mention that it has ended and it has shown me that sometimes you have to put yourself and your dreams and ambitions first and to realise that it's not selfish to do so. At the end of the day it's YOUR life and you can't live your life for someone else either no matter how heart breaking a realisation it is. There will always be a special place in my heart for him but it wasn't the right circumstances for us right now.

The optimistic bit....

However, onwards and upwards, this year of being 26 is going to be my year. New me, new city. It's both nice and sad to be back in my apartment after an amazing week at home with my family and friends but back to reality as they say. My weekend started off at scouts - Many of you may know my love of scouts and the impact it has on children in my opinion! Just love it.  I had a great night in Mellary scaring the life out of children in our haunted house - so fantastic that so many adults give up their free time and bank holiday weekend to give other peoples children such an amazing experience. Makes me so honoured to be a part of it. 

Following this, I did what any newly single 26 year old does. I met up with all my friends for chats and giggles - never underestimate the power of friendship. It truly is a special kind of love. The same can be said for family - to my younger brother (when I grow up I want to be just like you) and to my parents and aunts, you guys are incredible and I can't express how much I appreciate you. I know I only live across the water but being away from home really makes you appreciate the little home comforts.   

So now to begin to plan for Christmas and all that lies ahead. This is going to be my year. I can feel it!!

Thanks for the memories!




This weekend saw the culmination of  4 years of blood sweat and tears! (Well 5 years really!) I finally graduated - meaning in the eyes of the world I am now 100% officially a teacher - celebrations can be heard throughout the lands! It was a spectacular day, that I cannot deny, and it was lovely to share it with family and friends also. It was also an immense feeling of pride to be able to stand over what I have accomplished against the odds and know that I had done this myself, by myself, for myself. Isn't that incredible?? Most of you guys will know that although I qualified in Ireland I do now work in England and it was a personal choice I made for me and something I felt I had to do for my own personal life journey - and I'm learning loads so it has been a success so far!! Education truly is a lifelong journey and I couldn't  be prouder of myself for what I've accomplished in spite of all the obstacles i faced!

It was also really nice to be home for a weekend - its surprising how quickly you can become wrapped up in your own bubble of your new life! It's only been 7/8 weeks since I moved and it's crazy how easy it is to assimilate and forget that you have people in Ireland who care about you and are waiting to hear how you're getting on too! This is something I definitely need to work on in the near future!! Ireland is only an hour away but when you're living your own life it's sometimes easy to forget the life you left behind. 

Seeing my parents was incredible too and my nephew! Family really is the best way to raise your spirits! My poor Dad was so proud to see me graduate - proper tears of pride from Larry! I'm back home next weekend too so that I have a chance to proper catch up with friends and family for a week rather than a crazy rushed weekend. Its been a good life this past while - goes to show you have to take a leap and trust your instinct! Whats meant for you won't pass you!

Here's to the future!!

London Calling...

So one month officially down, and a crazy month it has been! I've moved country and started a new job, moved into a beautiful apartment with a crazy Irish lady from down the road at home (whom I never previously knew) and finally realised my dream of becoming a teacher. HECTIC OR WHAT?? I truly wouldn't have it any other way though! I've not only learned so much about myself from this experience but also about the person I want to become also. So after moving country, and then house three ties once I got here  (looooong story) I'm finally settled and finding my feet and what better way to do that than by exploring??

Last weekend I went to Windsor and Holy Moses it is truly divine! From the stunning castle to the picturesque town in itself no words could do it justice! While we wandered the cobbled streets feeling envious of all who reside in Windsor, we did realise how lucky we are to have this experience in life and to be in a position where we can afford such trips on an ongoing basis. We are by no means rich - after all we are but teachers - but it is a nice sense of comfort to know that we can look forward to little days of exploration in the future! It is truly amazing also when I read e-mails from people who read my blog (I know shock horror people actually read this thing) who say I've inspired them to follow their dream and move or that they had also suffered from mental health issues and are now beginning to see an upside again and are planning adventures! Each and every single one of you are amazing by virtue of the fact that you get up each day and keep on living! That in itself is an adventure, and don't let anyone ever take that away from you!


Overall this month has been amazing and I'm genuinely excited for whats to come in the next month! Visits from friends, my graduation, trips home and more exploring of course!I'm just so genuinely grateful for this opportunity I've been given and so happy to be going through it with some of the most incredible people too! It's truly amazing how much your life can change in a short amount of time and how much you realise you suddenly want to do and achieve that never even crossed your mind prior to this!

I'm not going to lie I was hesitant to move, it was a huge decision to leave my family and friends behind and also to move outside my comfort zone - especially after the difficult year i'd had but once I got it into my head and started to get excited about what lay ahead there as no stopping me, I was moving and that was it! And Boy am I glad I did!

My one piece off advice to you guys would be to trust your instincts - do what your heart is telling you to do! More often than not its what you were meant to do all along!!

Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep!

This past week has been a toughie....but its taught me so very valuable life lessons. This week I had my first NQT inspection by a man who was not one of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of dealing with. I faced some harsh and unhelpful criticisms BUT I was also showered with love and kindness from new colleagues and friends who not only rallied around me but stood up against how I was treated. Its hard to face criticism for something you're passionate about and love doing - especially when deep in your heart and soul you know that criticism is unjustified. Teaching is my life. I love everything about it, the kids, the subject, the school and the relationship that I can build with people. The banter....They don't call me Miss Sass for nothing! 

Joking aside however my confidence did take a knock and it did take a lot of self persuasion not to give up and call it quits! I'm still standing though and tomorrow is another Monday,another day for me to prove the doubters wrong and to reinstall the confidence I have in my own ability! Teaching is not for the meek, nor is it for those who strive for power. Teaching is a career for those who want to help better and encourage others as much as possible...to help kids figure out their futures and maybe hopefully they'll remember a small segment of what you said at some point throughout their school journey.

I chose to be a teacher not only because I myself loved being in school and learning but also because I wanted to give others the same unique opportunity that I was given - one small safe place to voice your opinion where somebody actually listened and cared. You can doubt my ability to teach and the methods I use - go ahead - but I would never let anybody doubt the relationship I have with my students and the space I provide them to be themselves.

Education is not merely learning from a book and writing down notes - Education is finding out who you are and learning some information to help you become who you might want to be. I will continue to do what I do, teach how I teach and build relationships with my students. I won't let one persons opinion of how I do my job stop me from doing it. 

We don't need no Education!

As many of you know i'm now a qualified teacher, commonly referred to as an NQT, this was one of the proudest achievements of my life and filled me with hope and excitement for the future....for about a month. Then reality set in, and the prospect of having no full time job or travelling a long distance for minimal hours became heartbreaking. I failed to understand how I had put in all this time and effort to be consistently told No, due to my lack of experience. Age old cycle i suppose. Which brings me to here...I had long been told about the amount of teaching positions in England and so decided to take the leap, what did I have to lose really?? So I interviewed, taught a class, got offered the position and took it. Just like that! Finally a system that judged me on my ability to teach rather than my ability to answer ridiculous questions about made up situations in a room of 6 people who stare and you and make you feel about an inch tall. It honestly reignited my passion for teaching. 

But what's it been like so far you ask? Well i'm glad you did! Life isn't rosy in England, nor is it at home. I've become an adult with bills and responsibilities. I've to plan for the welfare of children even single school day. I have to deal with children who think the rules don't apply to them and also the ones who simply want to be ignored. I have to care for every single student in my care, regardless of their feelings and behaviour towards me, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been knocked over and I've had students try and intimidate me in my own classroom. Yet i've had students thank me, hold doors open for me and choose to  work with me because of how I treat them as individuals. 

I can never comprehend those who think teaching is a simple job, short days and long holidays, we've all heard the jokes. Don't these people know that its us teachers who stay awake until midnight finding out how to best help your child understand a theory, or how to differentiate a lesson so that even the student who doesn't speak English as a first language can feel included. Teaching is mentally and physically exhausting work....and i've only had limited experience of it so far. 

I love my job, and as far as i'm concerned the good will always outweigh the bad in my opinion. We must realise that our school system does not suit every student, some people learn in different ways. I as a teacher have to try and help that student just as much, if not more, than the other students in my class. It's not an easy job working with teenagers, nor did I even believe it would be, but I think the common misconception among people is that teachers have an easy life. Well let me just say this....the next time you are having a row with your teenager and they refuse to do what you say, try imagining that happening with 30 teenagers at the same time, not because you can't control them but simply because it's last lesson of the day or they don't particularly like you or your subject, because when are they ever going to use it in real life?

We need to teach our children the value of a good education, and why we learn subjects such as Maths, RE and PSHE, its helping to produce well rounded individuals who can function respectfully in society. Children who will grow up to respect differences in individuals and appreciate them. This is why I chose to be a teacher...not for a simple life....but to try and make a difference in even one other life. 

It'll be alright in the end....if it's not alright, it's not the end!

As many of you may know I'm a major advocate for positive mental health and living a positive life. That being said I think it's important to not some moves I've made towards improving my own life outlook and how I can try live a positive life both for myself and those around me. 

Nobody wishes they'd spent more time in the office

I have recently left a job in which I was employed for 5 years, while it was part time work it was a very negative atmosphere and a predominantly female environment which instead of being a source of support and encouragement and building each other up was the opposite - a rather negative environment fully of jealousy and bitchy comments and overall lack of teamwork. As a result of this I chose to do what was right for me, and so I left. I have no regrets in relation to leaving this  this job, I was lucky to have met some amazing people over the past 5 years but unfortunately the good times were over shadowed by the bad and I came to realise if you wake up in the morning and the thought of going into a work fills you with dread or creates an ill feeling in your stomach then you have to do whats right for you. 

I am also learning a valuable life lesson at the moment and that's how to effectively deal with rejection. The aftermath of leaving one job is of course the process of finding a new one! However, while at the beginning I was feeling deflated and wanting to just give up, I realised something huge about myself, I needed to take this as a learning opportunity and see what I needed to do to promote myself as being employable and a good asset to a team. We are constantly learning and it's our attitude to life that is infectious and that invited people to befriend us. So I await my next rejection, but I also await the day that its a success!

I'm Irish, we don't DO emotion

Another thing which is extremely important to say at this time is that I no longer feel as though i'm alone. When i initially began this journey I struggled because not only did I not understand what was going on with myself, but my family and friends did also. Speaking about mental health is not a common practice in Ireland and unfortunately still holds a huge stigma. Thankfully, one of the positives of this whole journey is that my family and friends have become more educated and more aware of mental health issues and how to help people in dealing with them. 

A huge obstacle has been over come in this regard, not just for my family and friends but for myself also. I didn't feel like I had to hide how I felt anymore or put on a brave face or even participate in society when I genuinely did not have the capacity to do so. Trust me a panic attack in the car because you can't face going into pennys is not a great feeling, nor something any Irish girl wants in life. I am lucky to say that I'm much stronger as an individual now and I don't feel like I have to explain my actions to people anymore. I've struggled majorly but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm thankful for all those who we're there with me in the good times and the bad. 

Moving Forward

As the title says, Everything will be alright in the end, If it's not alright, it's not the end. We live in a society where we're bombarded with social media and the image of the perfect life we should all be living. Constant adventures, shopping trips, dinner dates, and while all amazing experiences and great for our mental health, we need to ask ourselves are we happy with the life we're living or are we portraying a life that seems amazing on the surface but is not as happy on the inside? 

My message would be to live your life for yourself and your own happiness. That doesn't mean hurt people for your own gain, but be mindful of others. Don't be taken advantage of but don't take advantage of anyone to progress yourself. WE need to start supporting each other and stop competing. If you want to travel then save and go, but if traveling isn't your thing then don't let anyone make you feel bad about that either! Don't judge your happiness on the life that others are presenting. Be confident in your decisions and trust me the happiness will follow. Be comfortable being you, infact be unapologetically you! There are always going to be people who don't like you simply because you are you, and that's ok.  

You be You!

What kind of message are we sending??

I've been doing some thinking recently, about society as a whole. While it has been an amazing year for those of the LGBT community in which society backed them and showed love and support, spreading the message to our youth that of course its ok to be different and you should embrace that difference unless that appears if you're not a skinny size 6/8 girl. 

This in itself is an issue that has always struck a cord with me, and an issue that was highlighted for me at a young age through the works of Jacqueline Wilson. It just constantly BAFFLES me that we base people worth upon what they weigh! There are so many different body shapes in the world why should we be expected to all fit the same mold? And we blame the fashion magazines....I agree to a certain extent that this plays a HUGE role, as does social media and TV, But what are we as adults telling our young women? I sincerely hope we are not promoting the message of "Skinny", but instead confidence in our individuality. If you want to exercise and be fit and healthy then I applaud you - you do what makes you happy, and being healthy is important in life. However if you're a healthy and happy size 16 then go you too! who do we think we are to put someone else down because of their appearance. To participate in social media these days requires the ability to be strong and confident in who you are as a person, and to not let the appearance of another person or their life impact on how we feel about our own. 

I've seen pictures of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini lately in which her frame is slight and she appears to have dressed to accentuate this. While I agree when she says it is not ok to body shame anyone, I think that its vital that she realise she is a role model for young women and that she is not promoting a healthy lifestyle. On this note however, I do reiterate that it is NEVER ok to body shame somebody. 

As seen in the above photo, Cheryls head appears large on her small frame and her shoulders and arms appear bony. Her overall frame is tiny with her outfit emphasizing her tiny waist. While Cheryl puts this weight loss down to the loss of her father-in-law, it is important to realise that when in the public eye you will be constantly scrutinized for you appearance and the message that it sends out. I can guarantee there's Irish Mammies everywhere just dying to feed her a ham sandwich!

One final thing I'm going to say on this matter is that, I, personally, am an hourglass shape, meaning I carry my weight on my hips and bum. No big deal. This does mean however that I do not fit a standard size of clothing. If i wear an 8 on top i'm a 10 on bottom and often a 12. I have never been overweight because I lead an active lifestyle BUT i'm not a skinny minnie either, and thats ok too!

PLEASE STOP WORRYING ABOUT CLOTHES LABELS!!

I can honestly say my wardrobe ranges from a size 6 to a size 12, and I am not bothered! I wear what fits me, what I feel I look good in and whats comfortable for me. I do not base this decision on what any magazine or fashion blogger is dictating I should wear, but on my own personal tastes and preferences. I am my own person, and I'm happy to be who I am. This is the message we need to be sending our young women. It is ok to be whoever you want to be, Stand alone if that's your thing, and be part of the crowd if it speaks to you! Either way its all ok! Trust me - I've succeeded this far!

Peace Out

XXX

New Year, New Me?.....Doesn't everyone say that??

I should start off by saying that i truly do appreciate my life as it stands, I took 2014 with the highs and the lows and have come out the other side happier than i have been in a long time and I can credit this to some of the most amazing people i have in my life, friends and family that I wouldn't trade for the world!! I started this blog as a challenge to myself this time last year and while unfortunately I didn't get to complete my 100 tasks (I did 54), I still made some amazing friends and had some great adventures along the way!! And for that alone I am truly grateful... so looking forward I think a new list may be in order?? Something not as ambitious as i'm in my final term of college...EVER, but something to spur me on? I've been lucky enough to have both loved and made some amazing new friends throughout this year and because of my own personal goals I experienced things I would have otherwise never pushed myself to do! I have grown independent - yet I know when to ask for help, I have learned to enjoy everyday occurrences because who am I to say when they wont occur again?

I have one term left in college until I become a fully fledged adult...scary yet exciting! The world as it stands in 2015 is my oyster and its up to me how I spend each day and whether or not i use my full potential! I have faith in my ability....I can do this!! 

SLÁINTE,

XXXXXX

A brief insight....

I've been trying really hard to update and write on here, unfortunately it hasn't been the easiest journey so far. I have been feeling a bit down lately and lacking inspiration as a result. I thought i should mention it because its perfectly normal for people to feel this way and I want to speak out and let people know that there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. I know its not the most captivating opening paragraph but i do admire people who can get through the hard times and do it with a smile and that's what i hope to do. Remember to look after your own mental health and to talk to people! Your family and friends care about you and will always want to see you smile. I have often said that i think life is made up of moments of fleeting happiness just intersected by the monotony that is real life, but i think now i'm beginning to change my views. Maybe the happiness shouldn't be fleeting, maybe there should be no monotony?

I know this doesn't have anything to do with my list but i think its important that we don't hide away from our feeling and that we don't pretend to be ok on the outside when we're falling apart on the inside. Thankfully I am starting to feel better and i do feel now that i can begin to get things back on track and set about accomplishing my goals, thanks to the support of my family and friends and the amazing people of the health care profession who don't get enough praise for the amazing work that they do! And a special shout out to my friend Gill, who has featured in my blog before, for being the best support and friend I could ever ask for! I wish her the world of happiness for being there for me! The Lady who saw through my smile and realised that something was wrong, and who never treated me in any way different because of it! Gill you are my rock and my best friend, and im so truly blessed that i threw up on your shoes all those years ago, because i cant imagine my life without you in it!

Toodles
xxx