Lions don't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep!

This past week has been a toughie....but its taught me so very valuable life lessons. This week I had my first NQT inspection by a man who was not one of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of dealing with. I faced some harsh and unhelpful criticisms BUT I was also showered with love and kindness from new colleagues and friends who not only rallied around me but stood up against how I was treated. Its hard to face criticism for something you're passionate about and love doing - especially when deep in your heart and soul you know that criticism is unjustified. Teaching is my life. I love everything about it, the kids, the subject, the school and the relationship that I can build with people. The banter....They don't call me Miss Sass for nothing! 

Joking aside however my confidence did take a knock and it did take a lot of self persuasion not to give up and call it quits! I'm still standing though and tomorrow is another Monday,another day for me to prove the doubters wrong and to reinstall the confidence I have in my own ability! Teaching is not for the meek, nor is it for those who strive for power. Teaching is a career for those who want to help better and encourage others as much as possible...to help kids figure out their futures and maybe hopefully they'll remember a small segment of what you said at some point throughout their school journey.

I chose to be a teacher not only because I myself loved being in school and learning but also because I wanted to give others the same unique opportunity that I was given - one small safe place to voice your opinion where somebody actually listened and cared. You can doubt my ability to teach and the methods I use - go ahead - but I would never let anybody doubt the relationship I have with my students and the space I provide them to be themselves.

Education is not merely learning from a book and writing down notes - Education is finding out who you are and learning some information to help you become who you might want to be. I will continue to do what I do, teach how I teach and build relationships with my students. I won't let one persons opinion of how I do my job stop me from doing it. 

We don't need no Education!

As many of you know i'm now a qualified teacher, commonly referred to as an NQT, this was one of the proudest achievements of my life and filled me with hope and excitement for the future....for about a month. Then reality set in, and the prospect of having no full time job or travelling a long distance for minimal hours became heartbreaking. I failed to understand how I had put in all this time and effort to be consistently told No, due to my lack of experience. Age old cycle i suppose. Which brings me to here...I had long been told about the amount of teaching positions in England and so decided to take the leap, what did I have to lose really?? So I interviewed, taught a class, got offered the position and took it. Just like that! Finally a system that judged me on my ability to teach rather than my ability to answer ridiculous questions about made up situations in a room of 6 people who stare and you and make you feel about an inch tall. It honestly reignited my passion for teaching. 

But what's it been like so far you ask? Well i'm glad you did! Life isn't rosy in England, nor is it at home. I've become an adult with bills and responsibilities. I've to plan for the welfare of children even single school day. I have to deal with children who think the rules don't apply to them and also the ones who simply want to be ignored. I have to care for every single student in my care, regardless of their feelings and behaviour towards me, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been knocked over and I've had students try and intimidate me in my own classroom. Yet i've had students thank me, hold doors open for me and choose to  work with me because of how I treat them as individuals. 

I can never comprehend those who think teaching is a simple job, short days and long holidays, we've all heard the jokes. Don't these people know that its us teachers who stay awake until midnight finding out how to best help your child understand a theory, or how to differentiate a lesson so that even the student who doesn't speak English as a first language can feel included. Teaching is mentally and physically exhausting work....and i've only had limited experience of it so far. 

I love my job, and as far as i'm concerned the good will always outweigh the bad in my opinion. We must realise that our school system does not suit every student, some people learn in different ways. I as a teacher have to try and help that student just as much, if not more, than the other students in my class. It's not an easy job working with teenagers, nor did I even believe it would be, but I think the common misconception among people is that teachers have an easy life. Well let me just say this....the next time you are having a row with your teenager and they refuse to do what you say, try imagining that happening with 30 teenagers at the same time, not because you can't control them but simply because it's last lesson of the day or they don't particularly like you or your subject, because when are they ever going to use it in real life?

We need to teach our children the value of a good education, and why we learn subjects such as Maths, RE and PSHE, its helping to produce well rounded individuals who can function respectfully in society. Children who will grow up to respect differences in individuals and appreciate them. This is why I chose to be a teacher...not for a simple life....but to try and make a difference in even one other life. 

What up with your hair??

Errrmagerd.....Mah Hurr!! I literally cannot put into words the annoyance of growing ones hair back after a pixie cut! I am NOT gong to lie and say its so easy to adapt your style and just grow it out gracefully - There is no growing it out gracefully. You will look like a 1980s mullet queen and a 1990s boyband star and you will jump for joy when you have the worlds most pathetic ponytail and then eventually it will start to resemble a bob and that's where I'm at now. Mid 1990's boyband yet almost resembling a bob! And boy is it tough.

As many of you will know I destroyed my hair by bleaching it white! There's a hilarious video on an older post for those of you who haven't seen it! the constant upkeep meant that I had so much breakage and ended up having to cut my hair shorter than I had ever originally planned to! Alas i digress....I started going to a hairdresser again to start with the growing out stages of the pixie cut, and the first step of course was dying my hair back brown and getting it healthy. I cannot describe how bad my hair actually was but the hairdresser was disgusted with it and I mean to the point that she was like "its got that chewing gum texture". I should also point out that I have very fine hair so to have it falling out and breaking because of my own actions meant I was more than annoyed with myself. 

To get my hair healthy has taken months and only now am i seeing a shine in it again. I have used many products which were amazing and many which were not so good. The ones I have stuck with and continued to use are 

• Hairburst : This is a natural supplement designed to encourage hair growth and also promote healthy hair. It is a tad on the expensive price but I have justified it to myself each month because the results are simply incredible. My hair is growing faster and is simply in overall better condition.Each bottle contains 60 capsules and You simple take 2  capsules every morning.Price: Circa €50 per bottle. 
• Schwartzkopf Bonacaure Fibre Force: This whole range is amazing. I started off using the hair mask on recommendation from my hairdresser and followed with the shampoo, conditioner and spray treatment. Again the purpose is to recondition the hair and add strength and shine. I can honestly say my hair has never felt so soft other than using these treatments. Price: €12-€20
• Argan Oil: Talk about a miracle product! I would recommend everyone to use this on the ends of their hair. Personally the ends of my hair were destroyed from all the breakage and needed particular attentions even after I cut off the worst bits. Using Argan oil on the ends of my hair has gotten rid of that frizzy look and made my hair more manageable on a daily basis. It has also improved the feel and look of the hair. Price : Depends on brand. 
• Clarifying Shampoo : This is something I use once a week to get rid of any build up of product in my hair and to keep it from looking flat. I have been told that over use of this product can help to strip the colour from your hair and leave it looking dull so I try to stick to my once a week rule. I use pantene clarifying shampoo for the simple fact that its almost always half price in Tesco. Price: €2.59- €5.98

It is also worth mentioning that I try to avoid the use of heat on my hair as much as possible. This means leaving my hair dry naturally when I can and avoiding the use of straighteners/curlers unless really necessary. It is also important to note that healthy hair can be influenced by diet so eating right and being healthy overall can greatly impact on your hair too. I will post another update on what my own hair actually looks like at the moment in the next few days after my regular mullet trim just to provide a visual of the growing out process and the time frame also. 

I hope this has been helpful and honest for you, I've read far too many blogs where growing out your hair is made to seem almost achievable overnight and I just want to provide a genuine account.  I will also admit the desire for extensions is strong, however still not attainable at this stage of growth, so don't feel as if you're alone! Trust me, it's normal!!

Peace Out!

It'll be alright in the end....if it's not alright, it's not the end!

As many of you may know I'm a major advocate for positive mental health and living a positive life. That being said I think it's important to not some moves I've made towards improving my own life outlook and how I can try live a positive life both for myself and those around me. 

Nobody wishes they'd spent more time in the office

I have recently left a job in which I was employed for 5 years, while it was part time work it was a very negative atmosphere and a predominantly female environment which instead of being a source of support and encouragement and building each other up was the opposite - a rather negative environment fully of jealousy and bitchy comments and overall lack of teamwork. As a result of this I chose to do what was right for me, and so I left. I have no regrets in relation to leaving this  this job, I was lucky to have met some amazing people over the past 5 years but unfortunately the good times were over shadowed by the bad and I came to realise if you wake up in the morning and the thought of going into a work fills you with dread or creates an ill feeling in your stomach then you have to do whats right for you. 

I am also learning a valuable life lesson at the moment and that's how to effectively deal with rejection. The aftermath of leaving one job is of course the process of finding a new one! However, while at the beginning I was feeling deflated and wanting to just give up, I realised something huge about myself, I needed to take this as a learning opportunity and see what I needed to do to promote myself as being employable and a good asset to a team. We are constantly learning and it's our attitude to life that is infectious and that invited people to befriend us. So I await my next rejection, but I also await the day that its a success!

I'm Irish, we don't DO emotion

Another thing which is extremely important to say at this time is that I no longer feel as though i'm alone. When i initially began this journey I struggled because not only did I not understand what was going on with myself, but my family and friends did also. Speaking about mental health is not a common practice in Ireland and unfortunately still holds a huge stigma. Thankfully, one of the positives of this whole journey is that my family and friends have become more educated and more aware of mental health issues and how to help people in dealing with them. 

A huge obstacle has been over come in this regard, not just for my family and friends but for myself also. I didn't feel like I had to hide how I felt anymore or put on a brave face or even participate in society when I genuinely did not have the capacity to do so. Trust me a panic attack in the car because you can't face going into pennys is not a great feeling, nor something any Irish girl wants in life. I am lucky to say that I'm much stronger as an individual now and I don't feel like I have to explain my actions to people anymore. I've struggled majorly but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm thankful for all those who we're there with me in the good times and the bad. 

Moving Forward

As the title says, Everything will be alright in the end, If it's not alright, it's not the end. We live in a society where we're bombarded with social media and the image of the perfect life we should all be living. Constant adventures, shopping trips, dinner dates, and while all amazing experiences and great for our mental health, we need to ask ourselves are we happy with the life we're living or are we portraying a life that seems amazing on the surface but is not as happy on the inside? 

My message would be to live your life for yourself and your own happiness. That doesn't mean hurt people for your own gain, but be mindful of others. Don't be taken advantage of but don't take advantage of anyone to progress yourself. WE need to start supporting each other and stop competing. If you want to travel then save and go, but if traveling isn't your thing then don't let anyone make you feel bad about that either! Don't judge your happiness on the life that others are presenting. Be confident in your decisions and trust me the happiness will follow. Be comfortable being you, infact be unapologetically you! There are always going to be people who don't like you simply because you are you, and that's ok.  

You be You!

What kind of message are we sending??

I've been doing some thinking recently, about society as a whole. While it has been an amazing year for those of the LGBT community in which society backed them and showed love and support, spreading the message to our youth that of course its ok to be different and you should embrace that difference unless that appears if you're not a skinny size 6/8 girl. 

This in itself is an issue that has always struck a cord with me, and an issue that was highlighted for me at a young age through the works of Jacqueline Wilson. It just constantly BAFFLES me that we base people worth upon what they weigh! There are so many different body shapes in the world why should we be expected to all fit the same mold? And we blame the fashion magazines....I agree to a certain extent that this plays a HUGE role, as does social media and TV, But what are we as adults telling our young women? I sincerely hope we are not promoting the message of "Skinny", but instead confidence in our individuality. If you want to exercise and be fit and healthy then I applaud you - you do what makes you happy, and being healthy is important in life. However if you're a healthy and happy size 16 then go you too! who do we think we are to put someone else down because of their appearance. To participate in social media these days requires the ability to be strong and confident in who you are as a person, and to not let the appearance of another person or their life impact on how we feel about our own. 

I've seen pictures of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini lately in which her frame is slight and she appears to have dressed to accentuate this. While I agree when she says it is not ok to body shame anyone, I think that its vital that she realise she is a role model for young women and that she is not promoting a healthy lifestyle. On this note however, I do reiterate that it is NEVER ok to body shame somebody. 

As seen in the above photo, Cheryls head appears large on her small frame and her shoulders and arms appear bony. Her overall frame is tiny with her outfit emphasizing her tiny waist. While Cheryl puts this weight loss down to the loss of her father-in-law, it is important to realise that when in the public eye you will be constantly scrutinized for you appearance and the message that it sends out. I can guarantee there's Irish Mammies everywhere just dying to feed her a ham sandwich!

One final thing I'm going to say on this matter is that, I, personally, am an hourglass shape, meaning I carry my weight on my hips and bum. No big deal. This does mean however that I do not fit a standard size of clothing. If i wear an 8 on top i'm a 10 on bottom and often a 12. I have never been overweight because I lead an active lifestyle BUT i'm not a skinny minnie either, and thats ok too!

PLEASE STOP WORRYING ABOUT CLOTHES LABELS!!

I can honestly say my wardrobe ranges from a size 6 to a size 12, and I am not bothered! I wear what fits me, what I feel I look good in and whats comfortable for me. I do not base this decision on what any magazine or fashion blogger is dictating I should wear, but on my own personal tastes and preferences. I am my own person, and I'm happy to be who I am. This is the message we need to be sending our young women. It is ok to be whoever you want to be, Stand alone if that's your thing, and be part of the crowd if it speaks to you! Either way its all ok! Trust me - I've succeeded this far!

Peace Out

XXX